Love it

Love it!

WOW! If you’ve ever fantasized about threesomes, moresomes and swinging, this is a MUST Read Book, I think Terry did a faboulous job and as an Author myself I hope one day I can work with Terry 🙂

The other side. Yes, this is a good view of the lifestyle, yet I would like to challenge Terry to see “the other” side. I have seen it, broken marriages, relationships in splinters, scarred hearts. Sure if your data is skewed by only interviewing those who are active in the lifestyle is will sound grande. But, what about interviewing those who have left the lifestyle, or have been damaged by it. There are always two sides. I agree, for those couples who 100% agree on their lifestyle, then no problem. But about those who do not 100% and have to compromise? I have spoken with many women in the lifestyle who said they wished they were like my husband and I. We only touch each other, and exhibit and voyuer only. Not even soft swapping. But, we love being in the sexually charged arean of the lifestyle which you cannot find anywhere else. His book does do a great job of confirming that the lifestyle is not taboo, which it is not. But for those who left and are now broken, Terry up for the challenge?

Most accurate of the genre. Back in 1989, on the basis of one evening spent at a swing club and private party in Vancouver, Terry Gould wrote a typically contemptuous article about swingers for V magazine. Titled “A Dangerous State of Affairs,” the gist of the article is that swingers are rather gross and ignorant people intent on screwing themselves to death.
A decade later, many people were surprised to learn that Gould had written an entire book on this lifestyle he had previously found to be such a turn-off. And they were shocked when that book began to be promoted by the swinging industry. Having read the 1989 article, it was with some apprehension that I purchased a copy of The Lifestyle. … I have rarely been more pleasantly surprised!
Not only has the author fully redeemed himself, but he actually admits that his previous approach was wrong and castigates the media for continuing to follow it. For example, Gould points out that a perusal of the mainstream media revealed “celebrities still being praised and promoted for behaving like swingers in the same outlets that were labeling middle-class swingers pathetic and ridiculous for behaving like celebrities.”

On the Down Side
Gould writes at times as if his experiences were more in-depth and representative than they actually were and he tends to quote the opinions of the swingers he meets as if they were citations of universal rules.
As do most investigative-style books on swinging, The Lifestyle presents numerous interviews with participants, a few of whom offer pithy and insightful observations, many of whom are generally uninteresting, and some of whom ramble on and on in grand displays of ignorance. As a result, the book is a longer read than it should be. And finally, several people who played major roles in the development of “the lifestyle” are ignored by Gould.

On the Up Side
Despite the few quibbles raised above, I consider The Lifestyle to be the best reportorial work yet produced on swinging. It is better researched than its predecessors, exceptionally objective, and professionally written and edited.
In addition to interviewing participants, club owners, and various academic experts, Gould delves deeply into the origins of contemporary morals and ethics, examining how they were developed and preserved as ways of maintaining political power. He discusses the belief that goodness consists of that which encourages the retention of semen, while whatever encourages excessive expulsion of same is evil, and says that such beliefs “may have arisen from sincere faith, but it was a faith that fit in nicely with the agenda of priests and kings who are always anxious to keep the lustful masses guilt-ridden.”
Gould then gives us a look at fascinating (and sometimes surprising) new findings, facts, and theories in sexual biology. The old school apparently filtered its observations too much through the sieve of cultural expectations. (Scientists saw what they expected to see.) Contemporary biologists, less hampered by sexist beliefs, are coming to a whole new view of human sexuality — a view that Gould believes allows for greater understanding of, and tolerance for, swingers’ behavior. Whether or not you concur with Gould’s speculations, his tales of female arousal, bonobo love, and sperm wars are sure to entertain and enlighten you.
Not only does Gould take the unusual step of including polyamory in his presentation – reporting on a Loving More conference and providing a brief history of alternative living styles – but he has the insight to say, ” … the poly people are not as far as they believe from the thinking of playcouples – who merely don’t make a big deal about proselytizing the truths they personally perceive.”

In short, this most uncommon book is a must-read for any person who likes to think about or talk about the social, psychological, or cultural implications of swinging.

Thank You!